Rise in the heart, and gather to the eyes, In looking on the happy autumn-fields, And thinking of the days that are no more. Its song pierced the primeval silence of the forest below as the cheerful cry carried through the chill air; the clear notes penetrated beneath the thick canopy of branches, and reaching the soft, loam-covered forest floor the sound was absorbed by the bright carpet of fallen leaves. The woods seemed to come to life, humming with the chirpings and chatterings of busy forest creatures contentedly gathering food for the oncoming winter, until another sound intruded into the aimless animal chatter and sent a hush over the clearing. The gossiping birds took wing and the bushy-tailed squirrels scurried into safe nests as a figure emerged from the trees, twigs snapping sharply as it moved into the clearing. Then the voices merged into one menacing sound as they intermingled with the snorting of their mounts. As they came closer, Elysia could almost feel their hot breath against the back of her neck, as she held up her skirts and hurriedly climbed over a fallen tree.

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Enjoy yourself. You haz boobies. Because this prose is terrible. I hate women. ALEX: I dunno. But it makes women crave my peen, so there you go. ALEX: Huh? I loathe you with the unreasonable passion of a thousand fiery suns! ALEX: Of course you do, moron. Thanks for dropping this pretty girl in my bed. Someone drugged my rum toddy. It will solve a bunch of nonsensical plot issues. And I wanted true love.

Boohoo, woe is me. ALEX: True love is for pussies. ALEX: Put your fugly dress back on. All these infodumps are giving me motion sickness. Through unfamiliar lands. Just like Alex told me not to do, because reasons.

Go figure. Woe is me. Because I hate women. ALEX: Well, whatever. ALEX: Yeah, but you like me kissing your boobies. Two pages ago you hated the guy! ALEX: Whatever. I died cursing your face, Alex. ALEX: U dead, moron.

Shut up now. ALEX: Nice to meet you. Stay for dinner. And his money. And his title. And his man-bits. ALEX: Go rot in a hole, you stupid bitch. ALEX: I hate women. I want to bone my wife. Boohoo, woe is me! But if I continue to pretend that I hate this man, perhaps he will reward me with everlasting true love.

Not the Big Mis. Someone has tried to kill you! Wtf are you doing here?? Except not really. So guess what? Just remember, on no account can you speak of any of this to anyone. My presence must remain a secret, especially from Alex. Spy stuff. And I hate you too. Mariana was totally right. Alex hates me. My dear friend is in danger! Why are my parents so evil?! ALEX: I hate women!

Not that anyone cares, since I only had, like, four lines. You are my nemesis that refuses to die! Burn in hell, you beauteous bitchwhore!

Fear me! Does anybody care? I love you. Or Ian. Whatever your name is. Elysia is mine! All for me! Nobody else will ever touch her, you wife-stealing bastard!

My toys are my own! ALEX: …Oh. I feel stupid.


Devil's Desire






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